A Year in the Life of Paris Hilton

A Year in the Life of Paris Hilton 2007-03-05
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels…Helllloooo!!!…bottles won’t fit in printer !!!
March - Got really excited…finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months…box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours…power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid…wrong instructions…8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing…couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition…learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm…car swamped because soft-top was open.
September - The capital of California is "C"…isn’t it???
October - Hate M & M’s…they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days…instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December - Couldn’t call 911…"duh"…there’s no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!